Men… It is OK not to be OK
In my work as a therapist, I sense that many of my clients, indeed society have accepted the situation that we are all in. COVID 19 was an unprecedented outbreak, who would have expected a tiny virus would put the whole world into shutdown.
Now as we approach May 18th, and as our country begins to slowly come out of the lockdown, the Anxiety has begun to increase again. The sense of uncertainty has raised its ugly head once more.
In 2010, I remember when I got a job after a year of being unemployed, my self-confidence and self-worth was exceptionally low. I had constant fears of losing my job, constant fears of being unemployed were not far from my mind. I continued, and with the help of therapy I regained that confidence I once lost and now I am thriving in life.
I am now a qualified therapist. During my training, I noticed that many of my fellow students were female. Many of the clients I saw as part of my training were female also.
I was not surprised at this realisation, throughout my youth, Men were supposed to show no emotion, to be emotional and vulnerable was a sign of weakness. Men should only talk about football, women, act the lad and drink with the boys, slagging each other to hide the turmoil underneath. I tried so hard to fit into this stereotype, which was detrimental to my Mental Health.
Now with societies view of gender and sexuality ever changing , Men in general are now finding it difficult to define their roles within Society. That traditional bread winner role is gone; indeed, their partners may be the breadwinner now.
Therefore, with the additional pressures of COVID 19, and the uncertain role of Men within society. This may be too much for some Men to bare, and with the additional shame of being vulnerable, it may be time to reach out. Men, there is no shame in reaching out concerning your Mental Health. I did, and with therapy I regained my life and found the path that I am supposed to be on.
Hence, for the Men that are reading this blog. I stated earlier that during my studies, most of my clients were female. I recently did a review of my current client base, 60% of my clients are Men. Honestly, I was surprised at my findings. Having talked to other healthcare professionals , the tide appears to be turning , as more Men are seeking help for their Mental health, however, there is still a long way to go.
Finally, if being a Man is to be defined still by strong actions, to fight the uncertain battle that lay ahead, to overcome obstacles and come out victorious. View therapy this way, therapy is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Strength in being brave to admit your vulnerability, tackle the demons that may arise, conquer them, and heal. This brave act will not only enhance your life but will enhance your loved one’s life close to you.
If you feel the need to reach out for therapy after reading this blog. Please feel free to contact us directly via email at info@undertherainbow.ie for further details. If you wish to contact me directly, my email is dermot@undertherainbow.ie. It will be a pleasure to work with you.